Her Story

One of the things I love about Jessica in my book On Black Wings is her resilience, but also her role as the victim. She reacts as any other person would in the beginning, just wide-eyed and clueless, fearful and confused. She spends a lot of the book just surviving, but in that we discover what makes her strong.

She isn't as principled as your typical Hollywood heroine either, there are points where she sides with the forces of evil again and again. These are beings of such raw power she cannot comprehend them, yet she manages to fight her way through her encounters with them as she tries to figure a way out. Many times, she doesn't even know what 'out' would mean, it is not a simple answer when you and your enemies can be anywhere in time at any place you have been.

There is no escape, and she realizes that, and she does her best to cope. I liken it to someone coming down with an acute illness that can only be managed; that evil, that darkness of sickness will always be with you and you can only make things better and hope it doesn't get worse. Jessica's predicament is the same way, there's no escaping her fate and her role in the end of the world, so she tries her best to manage the bad situation she is in to the best of her ability.

Along the way, she discovers herself, and also things about the ones she loves that she wishes she would have never known. There is a dark undercurrent to this story and her character that captivates me, and also a reason why she was chosen for the role she plays by the forces of wickedness. She has this detached acceptance that makes you wonder if the things people say about her really aren't true, so in ways she is far from perfect. There is a darkness that existed inside her that we come to understand, and she wrestles with.

Yet in other ways, those darker parts aren't true, and we still wonder. She shows her kind and generous side many times, and some may think she's trying to make up for her shortcomings as a mother in a future existence. Maybe she's just finding these things out about herself, and we get to see a part of her develop that we had no idea existed.

She shows strength though, and there is a major turn to her outlook in the book. Again, she still deals with her terminal state, but she takes control, makes a plan, and tries to fight her way out of her fate as best she can. Again, evil shows up and puts her back in her place, but she stands up again and again and tries to make up for mistake after mistake. Her persistence is her strength despite failing in everything she does to deal with her fate.

Again, to me it is like the person with the terminal illness, and her victory comes from beating it in her mind despite the setbacks and losses she suffers time after time. She never gives up, and in the end and darkest hour, this is her victory.