...but Look at Me Now

It's unlikely any of us is going to put $20 in a slot machine or a lottery ticket and instantly make it.

But to wish for that, or to have it happen, is almost a disservice to how great you really are.

You don't remember much after making it, but before? Your stories of the struggles, waking up day after day and wondering, all the hardships you faced - these are the tales of legends. They will be the stories you tell people, over and over again, about how hard it was and how everything was stacked against you, yet you hung in there.

You kept trying.

You believed.

When everyone was doubting you, when the entire Internet seemed aligned against you, and you could get no breaks at all, these will be the hardships you fondly remember and set the scene for your success story.

The world has to be against you in this moment, for this is your stage in which those who hear your tale will hear, their mouths agape in awe at how bad you had it back then. Revel in this moment. Soak it in. Laugh at how hard life is right now, because this shall be your Mordor, your Death Star, your world against you and all odds saying any mortal person would have failed. You will want the world as completely against you as you can manage, and even then, you shall laugh and say...

"Bring it on."

This is your moment. These are your tough times. You will look back at this day and smile, becuase that sometime in the future, you will be able to say, "I beat it."

You won.

You survived.

And you just did not survive, you thrived. You fought for every spare moment and used those times between to follow your dream. You put in extra work when the rest of us would have lied down and slept, or turned on the television and zoned out. But you didn't. You put in the work. You self-educated yourself. You didn't have the money to buy yourself privilege or advantage, and you had nothing. You had to scratch and claw at every spare moment of time and apply yourself. You studied. You learned. You held down a job. You suffered through the misery of life, every damn day. You put up with the BS and the phone calls, the bad days at work, sickness, and adversity. Family. Tragedy. Sadness. Depression.

At times, the hardest times were just inside your head, and you realized that.

You fought back. You worked your ass off. You not only did well at work, you got home and sat right down to work on your dream. Through all the distractions. Through all the daily this and that. Through being so tired you wondered how you would go on. Through constant and endless distractions. You pushed them aside.

You learned how great being focused felt.

You suffered too, even after you began living your dream. You were ruthlessly criticized. Bullied. Called out for stupid mistakes. Ravaged. Your dreams were called stupid. You were told to quit. To just get the message. To hang it up.

What you did was trash. Garbage. It could never compare to anything even a mediocre person could do. You had your dreams trashed in a heartbeat by callous and thoughtless words.

And if you needed to cry, you did.

But that next day, you picked yourself up. You opened up that book. You created a new project. You sat down to learn from your mistakes. You toughened up. You admitted you weren't perfect. You started something new. You got better the next time. You put your dreams and hopes into this new work that-

-was knocked down just as easy as the first.

You can't make money doing what you love. Who are you to even try? Here's one star, if you even got a review, just out of sympathy. It seems you didn't get the message the first time, so I shall tell you again. Quit while your ahead. Don't waste your time.

Those hurtful words. Those lashes. Those things which rip out your soul.

You need to wear those scars with pride. You need to adorn them with your war-paint because you shall be on that battlefield again one day, wearing those scars, and keeping doing what you love doing because you know some day it shall happen. You will take those words, repeat them to yourself, and smile. For those words are your validation. Those words are your hard times. You will "be there" someday and tell people those same exact words. Those words that someone tried to tear you down with, that you were a talent-less hack, that you knew nothing, that you released sloppy work (and maybe you did), and you just outright sucked.

"But look at me now," shall be the words which follow those.

"But look at me now."

So you need to remember those hurtful words, because you shall show them all some day. You will shine, and they will have just have those same, old, worthless words. Those hurtful words shall be the stones under your feet. You shall use them to stack up on each other to reach that next step. You need them, because that is what makes you strong.

Denying them the victory.

The rest? A lot of hard work. More than you can imagine. Days you won't ever be inspired and wonder if it is all worth it. More work. More feeling stupid. More learning. More putting time in. More things which you create that languish in obscurity. More throwing time and money into a black hole. More feeling hopeless. More applying yourself. More starting something new. More trying again. More just keeping doing what you are doing.

Love helps at this point. If you don't love what you do, it shall be twice as hard.

Reaching out. Helping others. Being a part of something. Helping others helps you, because you understand how the world works just a little more. Exposing yourself to inspiration. Reading. Studying. More hard work. More the next project. Taking time for yourself. Rest. Getting back into it. Doing the things in life that are required of you but not your dream.

And waking up the next day to start it all over again.

Because you want to be there some day.

To have "made it."

And you want your story to be good.